Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Bid Me To Come
OH MY GOODNESS! (My computer or my fingers have a mind of their own). I posted a blog with no writing.
On Friday night, I experienced my own personal breaking. I am sharing this with you because I believe that many of us are experiencing the same thing. I had to admit to God that I am afraid to walk on water.
I am finding that writing this blog each week is therapeutic. Although, it is scary to do something that exposes your inner thoughts and feelings and allows others to scrutinize what you say or think. I do want to be pleasing to the Father and even when I am unsure of how it translates to the brethern (sisteren), I must be about my Father's business. My goal is to let others know that it is okay to be you. In the past five years, I have learned that no matter what anyone else says or thinks about me, they have not had to live, think or breathe in my shoes. Their experiences may have mirrored or been similar to mine, but we all have to make our own choices.
I have had people say that they have read the blog and it is "interesting". Well the only thing that I can say is "I guess, I am "interesting" too", because it is about me. That is the only person that I have authority to expose. I have to understand that when you put yourself in a position of scrutiny, you will be scrutinized.
Last year, my cousin gave me the book, "If you want to walk on water, You've got to get out of the boat", by John Ortberg. I have read it front to back two times. This weekend, I read the passages about Peter walking on the water. And I am now finding that it is time to get out of the boat. He is bidding me to come. Just like Peter, I am sure that it is Him but I keep saying, If it is you Lord, command me to come.
I have to continue to do the things that I know will be helpful to someone else. I keep hearing "Fear not", but that just strikes up more fear. Why is God telling me not to fear? Because in saying that, there must be something to be afraid of. Am I afraid of failing, am I afraid of succeeding, am I afraid of what someone else thinks, am I afraid of what it will cost me, am I afraid of the sacrifice?
This is the time of testing. I have to do some hard things right now. I have to set goals, WRITE THEM DOWN, get out of the boat and WALK ON WATER. In this season of my life, I will have to really rely on God to order my steps and to keep me under the shadow of His wings. I expect great things in the season and as He bids me to come, I must be obedient to His command. I must trust that He knows exactly what I need and shall supply it in that time.
In each one of you, there is something that is calling you higher. Please take the first step and get out of the boat. "Even the longest journey must begin where you stand." (Michael Moncur, 9/1/04)
MiVida es de Oro!
My Life is Golden!
(When I am tried in the fire, I shall come out as pure gold!)
Shoes by Guess ~ Carrieelee