Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Can you Hear Me now...

Therefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger:

                                                                                                                                    James 1:19

I realize that I am not very good with communication and sometimes my mouth gets me in a lot of trouble.  I have made peace with that…I choose to blame it on technology and society.   All of the gadgetry has made us more insensitive and unable to look someone in the eye and communicate. 
I think that commercial, "Can you hear me now?" is not just funny because we lose connection, but it is funny because even when we hear each other, we don't understand.  We are not communicating.

I did some observational research recently and realized that people just don’t know how to talk to one another.  Everyone has a point and wants to convey it quickly but cannot or will not take time to understand another person’s point of view.  Everyone talks over everyone else, we cannot wait to convey our message, and sometimes don’t even realized the point.  We communicate through text and email but can’t hold a conversation in person. 

I am guilty of having a hard time communicating, especially with those closest to me.  I know what I know, know what I want, and that is the direction I am headed in.  I am guilty of not hearing or seeing someone else’s point of view, or even being myopic in my own thinking.  But I am most guilty of shutting down.  I prefer not to have conversations or communication that is leading me nowhere fast.  I recently discovered that I am horribly guilty of ending conversations fast.  I had a discussion with a friend and we didn’t talk for a while.  We did talk eventually but I had to admit, I just shut down because I prefer not to argue or get angry.  But that is not what the scripture or communication is all about.

Communication:  The imparting or interchange of thoughts, opinions, or information by speech, writing, or signs. 

Communication isn’t just about the verbal message but also the cues we give one another through are actions and deeds; through the lack of messages; and through our opinions and beliefs.  We all have times when we are quick to speak, slow to hear, and very angry…That’s when communication is needed most. 

I am working on being swift to hear.  Therefore, I am using the technique…”Let me repeat what you said”.  I just want to get it right.  I need to listen more.  Often I make the mistake of misunderstanding what someone is saying just because I am not listening.

I want to hold my tongue.  Therefore, I am using the W.A.I.T. technique…”Why AM I Talking?”.  If it is not valuable then I better keep it to myself.  I am sure my friends will enjoy some peace and quiet for a change. I learned to season my words with Grace and Salt…Grace when I am guiding you in love and salt, when I have to tell you something that may hurt.

And being slow to anger.   I am counting to ten a lot.  Some things are just not worth the energy.  I find that people get so angry over the smallest things and blow up over nothing.  It turns into World War 3 because someone cut in line and the local Panera.  Chillax!  They have thousands of bagels, I promise. (This actually happened today.)

So my goal this week is to speak less, listen more, and chill. Let’s see how this goes….I’ll keep you posted.
Until next week...Keep Walking,

Shoes by Nine West ~ ChillPill


thenaturalmarketdetroit said...

I love reading your blogs! lol the W.A.I.T technique is awesome! I had to learn also that there is power in silence but hey sometime you just got to let a person know when there are out of line!

Erin R said...

I love this post, especiallythe W.A.I.T.!