Not My Finest

I was this.....

My truth today is that I am not quite pleased with myself.  I slipped miserably yesterday and repented for it all night.  There is truly no defense of my actions but there was causation for my words (they were not profane, just angry and wild).  The day started out as usual but ended with a bang!

Usually I try not to get too involved in things that really don’t move me because to me that is a lot of wasted energy but I felt that my small contribution and my calm energy might have kept things under control.  I was working with some highly charged people and I was trying to be the voice of reason; well all of that went out of the window when I was demeaned and disrespected.

In the light of all of the recent events in the world, especially in America, everyone has to be careful of their treatment and respect of one another.  We all have to seek to listen first then be heard, not to put up defenses and attack but to come together to create a common good.  I felt yesterday was an attack!  I was supposed to meet with a group to discuss some concerns and was immediately disrespected and dismissed although the meeting had been scheduled for weeks and I was invited. 

Now what angered me most was not the fact that I was not able to voice my one concern but that the group would not face the parents.  I was not on the defense when I entered the room but promptly became very defensive as the conversation continued.  I left in a huff! Then when I returned to ask a question the very people I was supposed to meet with had been hiding not wanting to face me.  I lost it.  Not my finest hour. 

Definitely not letting my light so shine. 

Certainly not getting an apology.

Surely leaving the wrong impression. 

But at the time I didn’t care.  Later on I regretted it because I feel like this is just what they wanted, something to talk about.  I also felt like the worst was brought out in me.  My goal wasn't to attack but to understand. 



I want to be this...

Although I a thoroughly disgusted with myself for acting like I did, I am reminded of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s words, “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.”  Sometimes you just have to stand up for what is right. And that is not always going to be pretty, fun, or easy.

I live in a very diverse population that is becoming more so each year.  We have to learn how to handle conflict in a peaceful and professional manner.  We cannot be afraid to face someone because we have differing opinions or views. We have to become more open to hearing criticism in the light of our actions and adjust our behavior or defend our position.  We have to teach our children that we are not always right nor do we get it right all the time but are a work in progress.  We have to respect each other. 

And with that I am done. 

In the meantime…

Keep Walking in Faith!

MiVida

p.s. I am still awaiting my meeting and I hope that it goes much better than the first. I’ll keep you posted. 

Speak to My Heart

Speak to my heart Lord.

I am in a season of confession…..I need healing. 

The Webster’s dictionary defines heal(ing):  to make whole, healthy, or sound/to bring an end or conclusion as conflicts between people or groups, to reconcile, to free from evil, cleanse or purify. 

I need all of these.  I realize that I am the common denominator in all of my situations (I live with me). After reflection I know that it is me, me oh Lord, standing in the need of prayer.  This week,  I had a conversation with a dear sister recently and it truly motivated me to dig deeper into my healing issues.

So Monday, I joined a Morning Prayer group and I found that I miss prayer.  I haven’t been praying the way I used to and it is truly affecting my ability to heal properly; to just get over some stuff.  Not to forget but to forgive for my own sake. 

I have not been connecting properly with the Lord and it is showing.  My conversations with the Lord have been one-sided; me venting my frustrations and then shutting the lines of communication down.  I haven’t heard a word that the Lord has said. I haven’t been still.  I haven’t gotten any direction which I attribute greatly to my ability to accomplish many of the goals that I have set.  Even if you are not a religious person, speaking and listening are important parts of personal growth.  Speak, then listen for an answer (one of my problems).  You might not like the answer but it is helpful in guiding and developing the person you are becoming.

Not only has my lack of true prayer affected my connection to the Lord, it has affected my outward appearance and reflects my inward pain.  I hadn’t realized how much pain I carried within me.  I believe that am truly forgiving and giving but lately I have found that I hold grudges and have become stingy with my time, love, and personal space.  It has not been very pretty. 

I know and believe that the only way to evolve is to confess your fault, repent, and turn.  It’s the turning that has me caught in a loop.  I am in a catch 22 because I know better and definitely want to do better but I am in pain.  There are some areas that are still very sore and are still tender to the touch.  It’s time to deal with those…..

So as I work toward a new me; a refreshing; a new beginning, I have to call on all of you to pray with and for me as I heal and my heart is the perfect place for the Lord to start. It’s not going to be easy but it is needful.  I’ll keep you posted on my progress but I hope you’ll be able to tell.

Keep Walking In Faith…..

MiVida

Hi My name is...

Hi My name is MiVida & I am a hoarder.  Hi MiVida..........

I have been a hoarder for over 42 years now (I am sure I started when I was 1 yrs old).  I took a look around my room yesterday and scared myself.  I often joke that my room is a reflection of what is going on in my head and to tell the truth IT IS SCARY. 

I am prefacing this blog post with these comments....my room is junkie but far from nasty.  When I say junkie, I am finding that deep in the recesses of my psyche, I am a hoarder.  I hold on to things and for the life of me I can't even figure out why I'm keeping them.  Initially I have need for the things I keep but after some time, I just have stuff with no purpose or usefulness.  I have some pretty boxes that have held some knick-knacks that loved ones have given me; some cute gift bags that I re-purpose to give gifts to other people; and some magazines that held articles about some new, innovative thing I felt necessary to save, share, or hold on to.  All of this is just piling up....

It is time to purge.  I often use the excuse that I am too busy, too tired, too bored, too anything to deal with the mounting piles that often land in my room.  I try hard to keep my clutter contained but as with any "hoarder (term used loosely)" it usually spills out into some other room of the house.  My family mumbles about my stuff and usually places it somewhere in back my room. 

Just like a hoarder, some things are really hard to let go of...for no real, valid reason.  I just can't let go.  Recently, I threw a bunch of magazines in the trash and lamented about it for days.  I had read all of them, probably twice, but it was hard to let them go.  I had no need for them, wasn't clipping anything out, just wanted to keep them.

I realized recently, like yesterday, that all of this stuff (my hoard) is making me lose the things I really need.  It is sad when you just brought an item and for the life and love of stuff, you just can't find it, so you buy another.  Something has definitely gots to change!!!! Today!!!!!

Paralleling my life with my room, I find that I hold on to things that are of no real value which in fact clutters my outlook on life.  In the past two or three years, I have held on to things that really have not helped me to personally purge and move on.  I believe that this a learned behavior. 

*I am no medical doctor or psychologist, so don't ever quote me on diagnosis.*

I think we learn how to hoard our feelings very early in life.  As young ladies, expression is considered aggression and having "too strong" opinions or feelings can get you ostracized by the girls around you.  You learn to go along to get along.  And sometimes you get lost.  Most people equate losing friendships with rejection of some sort and can't see that if it's meant to be the Lord will return/restore the relationship. 

I remember as a child wanting to fit in and even when someone hurt my feelings I refused to stand up for myself because I didn't want to lose the friendship.  I would just go along.  As I got older, I realized that I am my own person and that I didn't have to do anything that I did not want to.  This takes some self examination and some time.  Often I find that something still is missing....I still hoard my feelings.

Since then, I have learned that the relationships that I have in my life are there for a reason and that each one is different on purpose.  Relationships evolve and often for the better of both parties.  People develop deep relationships with others and when it is time to let go it is hard to so because of the level of the relationship.  However, in order to grow I have learned to become a woman of YES when it comes to new experiences and let go of some things familiar. 

I also learned that it is important that we allow the past to be the past and look for opportunities for the new.  We learn from the past, we should not live in it.  We can reflect on memories, good or bad, but that should not be our dwelling place.  We do have to take a few moments to understand how we got to the place we are and then make a change to correct the behavior.  We have to let go of the stuff that we hoard internally because it reflects externally and people can see it.

So as of today... and you can hold me to it, I am purging mentally and physically.  I am throwing away some stuff, hanging up all my clothes, straightening out my closets, storing all the winter garb away and making peace with some internal issue and problems that have driven me to the place where I am...Hoarding.  I refuse to hold on to things that are out of my control, should be immediately dealt with, or that I am not responsible for.  I cannot change others, I can only pray for the change in me. 

I am still walking in Faith,

MiVida

Growing Up!

I admire people who seem to be all grown up.  Everything just seems to be handled and in place.  They are able to muster up the courage to fight battles and never blink an eye.  They have a solution for everything and offer advice, typically unsolicited.  They are the "grown ups" in our lives.  However, I really think that despite the outward appearance, there is still a child inside.  I don't believe the child in us ever really grows up!

 

Even at my ripe old age, I find that I am constantly growing up.  Often this shocks me because somewhere inside I too still long to be a kid.  I often reminisce about growing up and peer pressure, boy pressure, school pressure.  There are things I both love and loathe about my childhood. Some self inflicted but some were just growing pains.  I am sure all of it has made me into the person I am today.  I had a conversation with someone recently and I commented, "I am grown on my own".  Meaning that I am an individual. I handle my own problems. I reach out when needed but ultimately I am the decision maker and consequence taker.  By golly, I am grown!!!!

 

Sometimes my children seem to think that the rite of passage is determined by a number: 18, 21, 25, etc.  But being a grown up to me is a level of maturity and responsibility.  Taking account for the decisions you have made and either holding your head high or repenting because of a choice.  But in the end owning up to all your stuff.

 

Daily I realize that as the mom, I too have to exemplify a "grown up" stature.  I do understand that I can be wrong, admit it and still be in authority; that I can make a fool of or laugh at myself without losing position; and I can be me, vulnerable, crazy, or quiet without being questioned. 

 

I must give a shout out to my youngest daughter, the CCM (chocolate cheerleading mouse). Take a seat and HOLD YOUR BREATH.......

 

Recently she quit cheer. 

 

Yes, she let go of the love of her life in pursuit of something else. Her decision was entirely her own and a shock to us all.  No more scheduling our lives around practices, meetings, traveling, etc. No more early more travels and late night pick ups. And just what would we do with all the extra money.....?  She grew up enough to make the decision to walk away from something that brought her so much joy, to reach for the unknown!  SHE STEPPED OUT ON FAITH!  And walked away......

 

In her 15 years (almost 16), she has seen me make the hard decisions and be challenged to see what else could be. She has seen the transitions of my life up close and personal and walked with me through the rough times.  She has endured lack and encouraged me that things will definitely get better; yes she has been spoiled but she has also be appreciative.  She has complained but rejoiced as well.  She has been a trouper and sometimes a party pooper but yet she has understood the words "in due time...."

 

Her grown up decision has opened some new doors.  My daughter desires to go to Spelman and with her recently decision, we can schedule her tours and even her summer visits next year.  Her next trip is to Disney World and then to Chicago.  (She has a traveling bug....but she got it honest).  She can do some much need community service and even join another club and expand her experiences.

 

So I conclude that my daughter is also "grown on her own". I am watching her make decisions and be totally secure in the consequences.  I am now the onlooker and I see that she is a leader and a thought provoker; she is my little diamond and faith walker; she is a beautiful lady and a good friend; she is Sydney and she owns it!  No she is not defined as a CCM anymore but this is only a chapter of her life, this girl is on FIRE!  And I love her to life.

 

Keep walking little sister, I see your faith!

 

Mi Vida

 

Blank Page Blues

I have the blank page blues….I hate when this happens.  You can liken it to writer’s block or lack of imaginative focus, but whatever we call it, I’ve got it.

Every week, I find myself stuck. Even with my handy dandy content calendar, I cannot think of anything timely or relevant to express.  It is an empty feeling. I often worry if anybody is out there.  Is anybody actually being engaged, encouraged, or uplifted knowing that everybody goes through some type of struggle or life event.  Everything is not perfect.

While there is no lack of activity in my life, finding a story that is compelling, motivating, and in essence humorous, is often a challenge. 

So as I stare at a blank page.  I use the writing technique of brainstorming to see what flows out of my overcrowded mind: bills…depressing, yard work…boring, job…not even gonna…so I type and I stare out the window. The rain is dampening my hopes of a lively, endearing story or tale.  Everything is just wet…and gray.  Soooooooooo…..look at these great shoes......

Gee-Nine West

What has transpired this week that has inspired me?  What great feats have I accomplished that I must brag about on the blog of my existence? How should I inspire the readers to go forth with diligence and determination?

*Crickets* Can’t think of a thing?

However, even in the midst of brain freeze, blank pages, writer’s block or any other hindrance to me expressing my thoughts on paper, I still am so thankful and grateful for all that I have, know, feel, and think.  Writing is definitely a process and takes time and effort to bring forth the best.  It’s just like life, we live, we love, and we learn.  Our lives are full of experiences that we can learn from, share, and appreciate the lessons.   When I write I use this platform to help others to grow and laugh.

This new emergence of thoughts and writing has ignited the FaithWithHeels flame.  I am ready to get back in action and get connected to women (& men) who want to see others grow in business, life, and living. 

So, I guess I didn’t let the blank page blues defeat me as I have filled much of the page with my random thoughts!

 

Keep Walking in Faith! & fill those blank pages with life,

MiVida

Help Oklahoma

Today's post is dedicated to the people of Oklahoma.

Moore, Oklahoma and surrounding cities were hit with several tornados that ripped through, ravaged the cities, and uprooted lives.

The thing that is most devastating is that the tornados went right through a elementary school.  To date there were 24 people who lost their lives but what has really effected me was the nine children killed during this act of nature.

Like many of you, I watch the news in complete shock.  I looked at the way nature had level buildings, tore up trees and moved cars as though they were matchbox size.  The people of OKC although prepared were not ready for such an act of nature.  

As always American stick together and weather any storm or destruction.  We have an opportunity to extend our hands and help someone else in need.

So I am asking that everyone do something to support the people of OKC.  Contact the American Red Cross for ways that you can help http://www.redcross.org/m/index.jsp.   Or call 313.833.4440.

You can also text Red Cross at 90999 to make a donation.

http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/05/20/18381508-how-to-help-oklahoma-tornado-victims?lite
 

I encourage you to keep walking...

MiVida

Can you Hear Me now...

Therefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger:

                                                                                                                                    James 1:19

I realize that I am not very good with communication and sometimes my mouth gets me in a lot of trouble.  I have made peace with that…I choose to blame it on technology and society.   All of the gadgetry has made us more insensitive and unable to look someone in the eye and communicate. 

I think that commercial, "Can you hear me now?" is not just funny because we lose connection, but it is funny because even when we hear each other, we don't understand.  We are not communicating.

I did some observational research recently and realized that people just don’t know how to talk to one another.  Everyone has a point and wants to convey it quickly but cannot or will not take time to understand another person’s point of view.  Everyone talks over everyone else, we cannot wait to convey our message, and sometimes don’t even realized the point.  We communicate through text and email but can’t hold a conversation in person. 

I am guilty of having a hard time communicating, especially with those closest to me.  I know what I know, know what I want, and that is the direction I am headed in.  I am guilty of not hearing or seeing someone else’s point of view, or even being myopic in my own thinking.  But I am most guilty of shutting down.  I prefer not to have conversations or communication that is leading me nowhere fast.  I recently discovered that I am horribly guilty of ending conversations fast.  I had a discussion with a friend and we didn’t talk for a while.  We did talk eventually but I had to admit, I just shut down because I prefer not to argue or get angry.  But that is not what the scripture or communication is all about.

Communication:  The imparting or interchange of thoughts, opinions, or information by speech, writing, or signs. 

Communication isn’t just about the verbal message but also the cues we give one another through are actions and deeds; through the lack of messages; and through our opinions and beliefs.  We all have times when we are quick to speak, slow to hear, and very angry…That’s when communication is needed most. 

I am working on being swift to hear.  Therefore, I am using the technique…”Let me repeat what you said”.  I just want to get it right.  I need to listen more.  Often I make the mistake of misunderstanding what someone is saying just because I am not listening.

I want to hold my tongue.  Therefore, I am using the W.A.I.T. technique…”Why AM I Talking?”.  If it is not valuable then I better keep it to myself.  I am sure my friends will enjoy some peace and quiet for a change. I learned to season my words with Grace and Salt…Grace when I am guiding you in love and salt, when I have to tell you something that may hurt.

And being slow to anger.   I am counting to ten a lot.  Some things are just not worth the energy.  I find that people get so angry over the smallest things and blow up over nothing.  It turns into World War 3 because someone cut in line and the local Panera.  Chillax!  They have thousands of bagels, I promise. (This actually happened today.)

So my goal this week is to speak less, listen more, and chill. Let’s see how this goes….I’ll keep you posted.

Until next week...Keep Walking,

MiVida

Shoes by Nine West ~ ChillPill

 

Flip Flopping

Good Morning All,

As Summer approaches I am on the hunt for a few good pairs of flip flops.  This if course got me to thinking about the word, flip flop.

For those that know me, know that I ruminate on things and will find a deeper meaning in them.  

I thought about flip flip not as some cute little shoes worn in the Summer, but the idea of flip flopping in my decisions and being more sure and secure in what I decide.  

I consider myself very flexible and can adapt to almost any situation but in hindsight I realized that I have flipped flopped on some issues that I should have stuck to my guns.  

In my younger years, peer pressure was all the rage and I dare not go against the grain for fear if standing out; I already had the weird name.  So when we weren't talking to the new girl, although she was cool, I flip flopped and joined the mean girl team. A decision I truly regret and now I detest bullies.

As I graduated high school, I still hadn't found my footing, so being a grown up didn't necessarily mean making adult decisions, so we trouble came, I flip flopped and changed tunes as a method of conflict resolution.  Right or wrong, I had no backbone.

Fast forward to today, I now understand why elderly people get to speak their minds...really they have nothing to lose, no one to impress, and so very sure of who they are.  I'm not quite there yet but I can truly say that my flip flops are now only footwear and not my current method of decision making.

As an adult and parent I am responsible for showing my family that honesty and integrity matter; that truth is always right; that we face problems and issues head on; and that no matter what happens today, tomorrow we get to try again. 

I found that in life, we can choose our direction.  I also realize that we must pray constantly, and wait on open doors to guide our way.  There is no reason to flip flop through life, unless they are cute ones on our feet.

I encourage you to Keep Walking in Faith (even in your Summer of flip flops).

MiVida

Shoes by Fitflop.com found on Zappos.com

Are You Kitten Me?

Today I AM going to vent!  When my daughter was young she used to say “are you kitten me?”, so I thought it appropriate to bring it over into today’s discussion and also show you some cute little heels!

I am thoroughly discouraged by my familia.  The jokers living under my roof! The moochers! The money grabbers! The loafers! The crumb-snatchers! Shall I go on…..? 

It kills me to no end that life isn’t getting any easier with young adults living at home.  I would so trade places with MI MidLife Maven, it isn’t funny.  Now I don’t know her complete living situation but having a kid out the door sounds like a little bit of heaven!

Shall we begin...?

My two older children are of the college and full employment ages.  My son, the oldest, “the leader of the slack”, decided to take several years off from school and is now interested in pursuing his college career.  I applaud this effort but I am of the mindset that you definitely can do more than one thing at a time buddy.  Look at me; I’m juggling, sewing, driving, cooking, studying, working, sleeping, and showering all at the same time. 



J Renee ~ Adena at Zappos.com

He seems to think that he should just ease into school and out of working because working and going to school is going to be a lot.  No joke pumpkin.  My moochers know I don’t tolerate any laziness...so he better not be surprised when his new living quarters are in the garage. Yes dear, You CAN work and go to school, AND to top it off you don’t have the added pressure of mortgage, bills, and people to feed.  ARE you kitten me?

My middle girl, “the responsible one”, has recently gone b-a-n-a-n-a-s (not the good bananas, Rachel Zoe says, but the crazy koo-koo bananas that makes you fear for the future of the world).  Last year she got a nice used car with less than 40,000 miles on it.  The deal was to drive it back and forth to work and school.  Well you know how well that went over, school became driving to friends house, driving people to Africa, going to the Moon, etc., all with no maintenance or oil changes, the engine went bye-bye. UGH! So now here we are with a car note, insurance payment, and no vehicle to drive.  Now she says that when she gets her next car, cuz she just knows she’s getting one, she’ll know to get regular oil changes….Are YOU kitten me?  That was basically the only conversation we were having the whole time you had your car…Get your oil changed.  Instead of good morning, I asked how the car was.  Now she’ll remember after one perfectly good vehicle has been immobilized.  Again, I say!….ARE YOU kitten me?

Haven’t had enough yet?     Shall I continue…?

Then we get to the youngest, “the chocolate, cheerleading mouse”(CCM),” the current taker of the largest share of the wallet”, this one had lost ALL her hurkies!  For 4 score and twenty years, we haven’t had living room furniture, mainly because I was waiting on people to start moving out of the house.  I figured I would start working on the living room as the house grew empty…but no, they keep going and coming, like ants at a picnic.  So I waited and I waited until I just couldn’t take it anymore and I brought some furniture for the living room.  So one day recently as the story goes, the CCM used the couch as part of her cheer stunts!  She has run up and down the couch and has leaped off of it!  What….Wait….ARE YOU KITTEN ME?!!!!  Her explanation was it was quick and she was just so excited and…“the couch was right there.” So an edict has gone forth, no one but my company on  the couch for the next 10 years.

Last but not least, we move on to our sweet little Chanel…the fur ball of our lives.  I was adamantly against getting a pet, since I knew that it would be my new responsibility.  But the CCM talked her dad into getting her one and I fell in love!  Chanel was doing so well then kaplowie….off the wagon.  I come in one day and find that Ms. Chanel has been tinkling on my new rug. A light bulb goes off….that’s where she’s been peeing.  ARE YOU KITTEN ME little doggie?!!!!

What in the world has my house come to? 

So this week, the slacker, Chiquita gone bananas, the Choc-cheerleading mouse, and the cute little dog better get it together.  I am putting on my heels and I am getting the house in order! And I’m not KITTEN!

I'm Walking in Faith, I encourage you to do the same!

MiVida

 

Mi Vida is my message

My Life is my message.  Mahatma Ghandi

 

As I slip back into this world of blogging, I realized that I am a little boring.  I would love to have some great exciting things happening to me daily, so I could “Wow” readers with my exploits.  However, I realized that being exciting is costly.  I looked into a trip to skydive…I figured that would be very exciting and it is.  It also cost a whole lot too.  So does hot air ballooning and horseback riding lessons, etc.

So I guess until I hit the Mega-jackpot of something, then I will remain “boring” and excite you with my wordsmith-ing or better yet my life.  Although I am not jumping out of planes or flying across the world to taste exotic foods, I am doing what all of us do well.  I am living my life.

Life is not easy and in everything we do there should be a lesson.  All of us learn something daily.  From our experiences, we associate things with encounter with lessons we have learned.  Some lessons are good, some not so.  I just love this quote, “Life’s challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they’re supposed to help you discover who you are.” Bernice Reagan Johnson  Many of my challenges...lessons have helped me to be a better me.

Some challenges, I like to call them lessons, make you pause for the cause…but I am a survivor!  What hasn’t killed me has made me stronger! (Thanks Bey and Kelly Clarkston, oh yeah…& Gloria Gaynor, she survived first.) 

I do believe life should be lived to the fullest but it is the small things that make us who we are.  We have people we love and who love us; we have jobs, whether we love them or not, we get up and go there daily to live; and we have an opportunity to improve our current situations by becoming a better us.  Our lives are the messages we send.

If we don’t like the message, we have the power to change it.  We set the tone and can overcome any obstacle because we believe we can.  I am in school because I want to change the course of my career.  I attend church because I believe in a power greater than me. I am a great mother. And so on and so on….

I have so many facets to who I am. I realize something new about me every day.  So this week, think about your life message…What does it say and does it represent the true you.  Start creating your message and sending it out.  It’s your life and you can say whatever you want.  Slip on your favorite shoes and Keep Walking...you have just started your journey.

 

MiVida! (My Life)

Slippers by CitySlips.com

http://www.cityslips.com/collections/frontpage

 

BARE.....

Hi Friends…..I have returned.


This morning is the start of a very new chapter in my life. Returning to writing. For the longest time, I haven’t felt the urge to share my feelings. I felt like it was…is futile. I wasn’t looking for any great revelations or any notoriety, just some open dialogue with other women, moms, friends, ladies who could relate. But so many times, I felt that my words fell on deaf ears/blind eyes. While I received comments occasionally, I desired constant feedback.

• Lesson one…don’t desire feedback.

I didn’t create my blog to vent, rant, or complain, I did it for me. Sometimes just to bare my soul and other times, hopefully just brighten your day. I wanted to be a voice, your voice, your friend, your buddy and myself. Often, that’s just not enough…..or is it.

I recently heard Jay-Z’s song, “ Open Letter”,(yes….I heard it) and I understand why he did it but unlike Mr. Z, I’m not bashing or re-hashing, I’m shifting, gifting, and baring it all…..I’m telling my truth.

In 2011, as my life changed and so did my writing…It mirrored my soul and nothing emerged. I just felt like this piece of paper (pre-typing) BARE. I had/have some great things that were budding in my life during this time but a cloud lingered over me and I just couldn’t shake it. It was like those commercials where the cloud follows the lady and makes her fall into a hole, then with the help of this miracle drug, she emerges and takes back her life….but anybody notice that the cloud is still there. (That commercial cracks me up every time….I always yell” But the cloud is still there”). I am not sure if the people around me noticed or cared that I was under a cloud and to me, that’s the scary part. I started packing on pounds not just physically but mentally and spiritually too. I was carrying too much weight.

The thought of baring it all (naturally or mentally)….UH NEVER. You’ll never get a glimpse of me naked….

• Lesson Two: In order to heal, we have to reveal; bare it all and sometimes be ashamed…Trust me it is very cathartic.

Personally, I hadn’t visited my own blog since December of 2011. As I went out and spoke at conferences around the nation, I cringed every time someone mentioned FaithWithHeels, mostly out of embarrassment and conviction because I had left something I loved; abandoned and alone. I had friends who nudged and encouraged me to get back in stride but I just felt like laying down my keyboard and letting go.

FaithWithHeels has a presence and I HAD to be present to make it work. If I checked out, no one will really notice…right? So as time passed, my guilt about FaithWithHeels waned and I would only discuss FWHs if I was confronted with it. The sad part is, that was one of the most enjoyable times of my life, but other personal issues just clouded the joy in it.

• Lesson Three: Do what you love, even if you are the only one doing it. It doesn’t matter if you love it.

This semester I landed in a social media class and guess what?! First assignment is creating a blog….I guess the Lord isn’t finished with me yet.

• Lesson Four: Don’t run from your calling or destiny…The Lord always has a way of getting you exactly where He wants/needs you to be.

So I return “once again”….and hopefully you are still here. You are waiting to hear from me and boy do I have a lot to share. Some of it is very funny and some will make you stop and stare. Join me on this journey even if it is only for a while but I promise it will be entertaining, exhilarating and engaging….or just plain hilarious.

I’m starting over and baring it all….I’m taking my shoes off and starting fresh….FAITH…with NO Heels.